Today, not a very good day for me. just got a scolding from my parents for being careless and pushing my sister away while she jump from the table right into my face. honestly, i dont mean to push her away. pushing her away is human natural reaction when seeing something is going to jump right into your face! anyway, scolded by my parents liao. obviously not in a very pleasant mood now.

I just wanted to treat my sister better after Aly enlightened me somehow 2day, but what i faced with is her naughtiness. should i treat her better or i should simply ignore her to spare myself from all the scoldings and troubles. but after all, she is my sister, even though how naughty she is, i still have to bear with it and can hope one day she would really see the light and be a good girl. dunno why, now, i really somehow pity my maid. she has to take care of my sister. the most challenging part is the feeding. Melody would run about the whole house non-stop and Yani, the poor domestic maid has to follow her around. i guess melody is just one of many such children. to me, using force is the only method to train her. what a pity, she is too pampered by my parents who got this child in their 40s and 50s. pampering her and showering her with all their loves are reasonable, but there is always an extent. i hope that i would be more rational and willing to beat my children if they make any mistakes. Making rational decision while facing your own kin is tough.

Today can be said as a happy day also lah. 2 of my friends after a few days of conflict patched up. This kinda situation happens to me very often as well. The difficult part is being rational while you youself in the conflict. to me, when in conflict, the most forbidden thing to do is to have this "i dont care" attitude and thinking "i have already said many times". when in conflict, we should try to solve this problem asap. Dragging it only gives ppl an impression that you don want to solve it and well. Just speak your mind! what is so difficult? arent we supposed to be honest with the ones we love? DOnt ever feel tired in a relationship. I hope for all my friends, they will never feel tired being with me.

Today a friend commented on my demanding nature. (better not tell you who she is). actually for today's incident,i feel indeed i was being a bit self-centred. but well, will try to change it next time. but most likely not going to be successful. hehe.

Today, i m sick. have a terrible sore throat and well, not in a good mood too. this morning, i woke up with a terrible neck ache. it must be because of my sleeping postion last night.
Today a few kind souls massaged my neck today, thank you!
then after i came back home, i asked my maid to "gua sha" for me, now, my neck is as red as an apple. marks are all over my neck. hope tonight the red marks would gone.
anyway, i came across a primary school's friendster and saw she and her bf's photo. they looked very close and well, very intimate as well. sigh. kinda worry for her, because how can she choose a bf rationally since she is 2 years younger than me??maybe u guys are thinking: OLIVIA IS JEALOUS!!she has no bf that is why she say that! but juz to tell u that i m not jealous. An adult friend once told me that we should not date so early if we want to marry around age 27 or 28. The feeling, the chemistry is long gone by them. So well, that is why i will date when in JC even if ZY want to woo me now, i m going to reject him!!!

2 of my friends still haven patched up yet.

I dreamed of my china ex-best friend last night. She was in geisha clothes. sigh. that was an unhappy friendship. We were very close till i came to Singapore. when i first arrived, we still contacted each other by writing letters. however, after a few letters, we juz naturally stopped. i feel truly sad. our friendships just ended like this.

when i went back to china last year, i saw one pedestrian who resembled her. but i did not have the courage to ask her, moreover, my parents were there too. dunno why, reflecting back, i realised i indeed had quite a few good friends, but they all did not end up well with me. either lost contact or they could not remember me at all when i introduced myself on msn. how would u feel when your good friends could not even remember u?

Half of the holiday is gone. Time always flies when you do not take notice of them. i still have less than 2 weeks to complete my homework and revision. heard that prelim is coming in less than 100 days. sigh. another piece of evidence that time flies. Still have lots undone.

Friends, everyone need it, even the strongest and bravest of all. Finding friends are not enough, finding true friends is what we need.

i m very happy today.

My moof was turbulent today. From happy to angry and to disappointed. The food at Delibrance was nice but not so filling. but now, hydrocholoric acid is corroding my stomach!! however, the food in my house is all uncooked! sigh. have to wait till 8 for my dinner...

I think i have improved much on my anger management. If it was last time, i would have exploded. however, today, i could still keep a smiling face until now. hopefully others have noticed about my improvement too.

i still believe between friends, they should be more honest with each other. Although sometimes they mean well, the person might comprehend the wrong meaning. after all, i still HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY and it is essential to keep a friendship or relationship.

This cartoon is interesting, isnt it?

Today i have read this book "making friends". Well, in it, it teaches us ways of controlling anger. i guess this is what i have poorly performed recently. It said we can bravely tell the party that we are angry, thus stronger bonds could be fostered. however, i guess it would only be possible if the people listen to your feelings and thought with a receptive mindset. sadly to say, few people are as receptive as me. There would always be a difference bw theory and practices.

What is the best way of not making myself angry? that is not making me feel *******. it includes not reading the person's blog or anything. Sigh. need to ovecome this problem soon.

I cried very bitterly in church. even the lady in front turned to look at me. One reason for me to cry so freely is because Win went to HK, so i went church alone. somehow i can shed my feelings freely, hoping no one would notice, but well, my crying sound was too loud. the lady in front gave me a sympathetic look. thank Lord that she did not console me or give me any tissues. or else i would be so malu.

I think there is sth seriously wrong with my character. i mean this ******** thing is still one of my largest shortcomings. i simply could not stand it when i see it which arouse my anger. i m afraid to tell this to anyone because i m afraid this is found difficult to accept by a normal human being except someone with extraordinary tolerance. or even better, this person doesnt treat it as a shortcoming. i receive this piece of news both with shock and gratefulness. how can a person match me so well?

Today something else stirred my emotions. I watched a HK tv drama, it really depict my real life. guilt kinda of overwhelmed me. Sometimes morality still plays a part in my life. can we do things without sparing a thought for others? or i m simply thinking too much or i m just too kind-hearted?

I once heard someone say: if love can be explained by logic, then it is no longer love.
This, is, power of love.

Sigh. bad mood. dunno why. actually i know why. but i just refuse to acknowledge it. this turning point is sth i dun see the reasons behind. Treat me as a fool? Siao.

只剩下钢琴陪我谈了
一天睡着的大提琴安静的旧旧的

我想你已表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道你没有舍不得
你说你也会难过
我不相信牵着你陪着
我也只是曾经希望他是真的比我还要爱你
我才会逼自己离开你

要我说多难堪我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过
我没有这种天份包容你也接受他
不用担心的太多我会一直好好过
你已经远远离开
我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份
安静的没这么快
我会学着放弃你是因为我太爱你