i m truly disappointed in myself. i m doomed. i have done terrible for my english. for both papers. for e summary, i cant find the points. terrible, isnt it?
but the good news is my computer works after a few day's rest! great.
by the way, thanks stella for dling the stuff from the net for me. i bet it must have taken u a load of time. paisey hor.

truly not productive today. like juz now, from 830 to 10, i watched tv and eat. and from 10 to now, online. oh dear, it is not the way. help!

sometimes life is just so funny. when you want something, it will not come, but when you don't want it, it just comes so naturally. for example, my computer was just playing with me. when i wanted to use it for some serious stuff yesterday, i simply had problems connecting to the net. however when now, without any serious stuff to do, it simply works! should i call it a miracle or simply i was a fool? well, that is not important. what i have done today, Good Friday, had got nothing much to do with my religion. Supposedly, i should go to church and worship. But i did not, partially because there is not any service conducted today. what i did was merely singing and praying. yes, praying half-hearted. so sad. i have heard this from somewhere "without God in your life then you are like living corpse". how true. although i am doing all the routine stuff, but my heart is empty. feeling vacant is one of effects of having no God in your life. Today a friend sent me a sms, it made me laughed till my stomach hurts. it was really funny. sometimes life joy can be instilled into your life when such little funny touching things occur. yeah, it makes life more intersting as well.

anyway, today i have started my mid year revision. disappointing, especially with bio. when i read the bio textbook, sleepiness simply haunted me, disrupts my whole plan! as for the chapter on microorganism, well, only a few words would describe: forever dun understand.

my hands are aching from the ss and his mock tests yesterday and today's his test. terrible. i really doubt if Mrs Leo can read my handwriting. i can still remember vividly how my hands kinda trembled and numb from the writings. terrible. maybe they should not put 2 humans papers so close to each other, there is no time for us to rest our hands. thank goodness O level is not like that. As for his mock test, i have done badly. i only wrote one point for usefulness question. how ridiculous. everyone said the paper was fine except me. well. not donig well is also within my expectation since i have somehow lost the passion and zeal for studying history, to be more specific, China history. Too complicated. Too many people involved. and too little details of them given. we have to read up alot which i have no idea whether or not it is relavent. But something strange is i have a sudden interest for ss. i think it is partially due to the teaching style of Mdm Ting. Her lesson is interesting. i did not realise my interest for world affairs till she taught us. I really want to bow to her to thank her for teaching us. She explains SBQ in a much simplier way which everyone understands (or i assume). Thank you!

i went to church this morning. i woke up early and set out early too so that i wont make michelle wait every time. however, the 51 bus seemed to have some bad blood with me. i waited for 20 minutes, then the bus came. sometimes, i was really wondering why was it like that since we, helpless human beings were simply wanting to obey god and going to church? i truly did not understand. i mean i dont understand the significance of letting the bus come so late and then i ended up late for church. i think i was really very embarrassed since i was always late for service. in other peoples' eyes, it was a form of disrespect. being late for once or twice is ok, however, in my case, i almost have never attended service on time before. shouldnt i feel embarrassed or guilty?

During the service, i nearly dozed off while praying to God. The sheer reason is probably due to the lack of sleep last night. Then today the service was a rather short one, it only lasted about 1h and 20 mins. when the speaker announced "dismiss"!. i was quite happy in my heart that it ended so early. it is so sinful! how can i not want to listen to god's words? as for today's sermon, i did not understand much, or rather the speaker's sermon had not much content inside. but there was one thing that installed in my mind, he asked us to have regular meetings with church friends to clear the doubts in our heads, so that we could regain the faith again. But the difficulty is this, we are so busy, where on earth we can dig out the time to meet? Homework is loading. stressed.

But even though how much homework is piling, i m going to watch campus superstar today at 730!!!!! NO MATTER WHAT...............